It takes a Village (Sometimes)

Dear Dada,

It might sound cliche, liberal and possible glib for me to say it but after enduring a fiasco of a haircut today I must concur...

Sometimes it just takes a village.

I was trying to be so good and concentrate while strapped into a high chair, as the garbage truck thundered by, Daniel yelled in deafening tones encouragingly and Mrs. Julia documented my every facial twitch with a camera.

But it's really hard to be in the limelight.

And sometimes you just need Mommy...even if she's the perpetrator trying to attack your locks with a curiously annoying buzzer.

In the end the buzzer won thanks to help from all of the above parties plus the key addition of Mr. Trevor.

Do you think I look far more grown up and manly now? Maybe I could pass for a two or even three-year-old!

Overall I approve of the look, even if my multiple chins are a bit more visible.

Newly shorn,
Mr. Joshua

Conversations with Teddy

Dear Dada,

Sometimes Daniel tires of directing all his conversation and remarks to Mommy and I and instead attempts to pontificate to dear old Teddy about life and timeless lessons.

This afternoon was one such exceptional time and I couldn't help but eavesdrop on the lessons Daniel chose to impart.

"Let's say thank you. THANK YOU God for those eyes on my turkey!"

"Teddy, you were with me inside my Mommy's tummy when you were born!"

"You cannot talk! Don't worry about it, I'm a good speak [sic]."

"Teddy, I will keep you my whole life."

"You are my sister."

That last conversation did get me thinking. Are all sisters fluffy, brown and mute? The ones I've met at COOP seem quite different.

Mommy said "we'll have to see" when I asked if we'd ever have a sister like the COOP ones someday.

Do you know?

Love,
Joshy

Lost Iphones

Dear Dada,

Mommy lost her Iphone.

I guess maybe we should have noticed there were less pictures snapped, ringtones played, tractor and firefly youtube videos queried and fewer pages colored on that fun app she lets Daniel play sometimes.

We DID notice there have been many more trips back to the Ranch to look for said phone that have been quite nice.

It started to sink in today on the way home from our last attempt to unearth the device that something was amiss.

"Where IS your phone Mama?" Daniel finally asked.

Can we never face time our long-lost friend Elisha ever again? How does one check e-mail if not by phone? What about the selfies? Will we have to draw them with crayons? Does this mean we have to send a telegram to invite a friend to play? Can we play with matches if we're just trying to send you a smoke signal to see if you're headed home from work yet?

Daniel and I have so many pressing questions.

Thankfully Ama brought her phone with us to the Ranch today so we could document our every movement for posterity.

There were free tractor rides, horses, muddy puddles, three legged dogs, barns, pebbles for throwing, dead animals hung in every room in the house... I could go on and on.

We even helped with Operation Iphone Resurrection by perching from one of the four-wheelers to gain a better view.

Basically the grass is just greener out there!

After some deep consideration we think it's actually advantageous to lose iphones if the location is this picturesque. Think we could chuck yours out into a field, bury it in mud and run over it with the tractor so we could keep going out there to look for it?

Scheming,
Joshua

Green Your Parent

Dear Dada,

Living in Davis it's hard to not get swept up in the current of environmental awareness and efforts to save the planet from its impending melt-down. (Or is it freeze down?... now that they've changed the issue to "climate change" instead of "global warming" it is much more difficult to envision just what apocalypse awaits those who fail to recycle their soda cans).

In my effort to fit in I have chosen my own special "green" effort to not waste unnecessary paper products. It's code name: Green Your Parent.

All the other babies in nursery seem quite enthused with the idea!

I refined my basic approach by breaking it down into easy, manageable steps for my peers:

1. Refuse to let your parent wipe you with any form of tissue, toilet paper or anything else specifically intended for snot removal.

Instead, use your parent's pant leg, sweater sleeve or even wool jacket. Reusable, washable (or preferably dry-clean-only materials) is the name of the game!

"I hope all of Mommy's students notice the festive slime shine I added to her wardrobe today!"

2. Try to soil your diaper irreparably at times away from home when your parent has forgotten to bring any diaper with them. (If they were up with you multiple times in the night because of aforementioned cold symptoms this is likely to occur the following day).

 "Hmm we're 25 minutes from home and the diaper bag is sitting in my closet. Let's have a blow out!"

Enjoy the ride home in the car sans diaper - al natural! Smile or make "impending-bowel-movement" faces at your parent in the rearview mirror if you like fast rides.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?!"

3. When your diaper is full at night try to nurse or drink extra liquid so that you can use your clothing, the crib and your parents' sheets as an alternative absorption options.

When your Mom looks a little grumpy about the entire load of laundry one such session can produce deftly explain that, as with most green efforts, it doesn't matter if it actually takes more energy to clean reusable materials than it would have to manufacture a diaper.

It's all about buzzwords and pie-in-the-sky ideas.

4. Lastly, speaking of pie, do make an effort to smear clothing with all food products offered and those scavenged from the ground. (Yes I know that sounds like puppy behavior).

Dislike your dinner? Don't waste a barf bag! Dad's work shirt is a highly preferable option. (True story) Again, see notes on dry-clean-only materials as preferable.

You can deal with comments regarding laundry by re-reading step 3.

I know you will understand my efforts to make our home and special family members more green!

'Tis the season :)

Love,
Joshy

The Trombly Conservatory for Music

Dear Dada,

Daniel and I decided it was about time we founded our own Music Conservatory to better capture our obviously precocious musical talents.

Daniel has turned out to be quite a prolific composer, churning out multiple masterpieces on a daily basis. I too assist in the over cacophony sonic wonders with my unique piano key thumping technique and an occasional vocal burst.

We would like to present a small collection of our compositions:

1. A short Aria in starring rising Tenor, Yours Truly, Joshua Mathew.


 2. Toddler Rhapsody in an unknown Key.


 3. Pumpkin Serenade in D



4. Surprise Symphony
While this title may conjure up a somewhat more famous piece by Haydn, we thought it an appropriate name for this ill timed recording of Daniel - mid sentence while explaining the intricacies of his newest symphonic concoction.



It is also known as Surprised by Nature's Call.

Aaaaand it's back to the drawing board for us! I'll be practicing my arpeggios until you come home Dada.

Best,
Joshua

A Teacher

Dear Dada,

Ever since I could hear from the inside Mommy's tummy I heard a particular phrase repeated in an often difficult to decipher English dialect:

"I'm the teacher for the baby".

Upon meeting Daniel face to face I knew he would be just the brother for the job.

Even if he did overdo it in the smothering kiss department at times.

The game of peek-a-boo? 

Belly-Laughing hilarious if Daniel is teaching you.

Caring for the many and mysterious ailments of Teddy Bears?

Dr. Dan is the one to turn to.

Teeth brushing?

Mystery solved thanks to Daniel's enthusiastic tutelage.

The delicate art of playing soothing tones with a accordion?

He nails it every time.

But the best lesson yet was so serendipitous that our well paid photographer and videographer didn't even have a moment to gather her wits and record it...

Let's just say that bite of peanut butter cup ice cream he sneaked into my mouth last night... well I'm going to follow up with Big Dan to see if I can get a few more follow up sessions before I declare that lesson officially learned :)

And now if you'll excuse me... I'm gearing up for my next incoming lesson...

Proper use of curling irons and hair blowers? To be continued...

Best,

Joshua

When you have "The Knack"

Dear Daddy,

According to Grandpa Craig, some children are born with an innate disposition referred to as "the knack".

(Some context)

Apparently the apples haven't fallen too far from the tree in our home as it seems Daniel and I cannot go anywhere without being drawn in by some fascinating machine, electrical device, work of aeronautical wonder or the like.

Let me try to explain how this has impacted our lives.

Grandma Trish attempted to take us in an innocuous outing to a local farm and ended up having to explain all the inner workings of a tractor engine instead of just admiring cute animals.

I made quick work of assessing the tractor's inertia, potential velocity factoring in drag and surface tension, and other simple calculations after closely inspecting the wheels.

Again at your office today the knack won over a typical childish satisfaction of garnering a hug from Dad and perchance  a quick spin in his office chair.

Had you not intervened today I'm sure Daniel would have succeeded in linking your workstation computers into one super computer capable of assessing all of UCD's thermal energy data in mere seconds. 

He let me in on his coding ideas so I can help next time.

Lastly, Speaking of coding... I quickly determined a safer way to encode all the documents in your filing cabinet after assessing the structural integrity of their current physical location.

Anytime you want us to come help you out with an engineering issue just let us know! In the meantime I'm going to be brushing up on my differential equations.

Love,

Joshua

Yard Sitting

Dear Dada,

I guess I didn't think much of it when Mom announced last week that some of our very best friends, Micah and Elisha, were headed off to a new place for practically forever a few weeks.

I guess I was a bit fixated on stealing a bite of ice cream when we had a goodbye outing in Vacaville.

Is that ice cream over there, Micah?

Who says you have to be 2 years old to properly enjoy Mint Chip?

Then I missed the gravity of the reminder Mom gave a few days later all because of an enticingly delicious leaf.

(Yes I recognize there might be a pattern here: a fixation on eating most everything...)

Today it finally sunk in though after Daniel asked 10 times in various ways if we could please go on a walk to the park with Elisha.

They really are gone.

And not in the typical Mom fashion where you think your world is ending because she stepped 5 inches away from you to brush her hair and then happily scoops you up a few minutes later.

They're gone in a new, real, raw, and seemingly eternal way. 6 weeks. That's eternal right?

Daniel and I decided the only way to cope man up to the situation would be to gallantly offer to yard sit for the Haynams. Someone's got to make sure all the toys stay in working order and blow bubbles across their yard and even check their rose bushes for petals to pick and then throw.

We paid their front yard a first visit today.

Pumpkins are still throwable sitting nicely by the porch and the scarecrow was given multiple adulations and greetings.

Check.

Basketball still fits through the hoop.

Check.

After bailing out Elisha's chic sedan to prevent rain water damage, all the engine pistons are deemed still functioning.

Check.

Gas tank filled up with premium gas.

Check.

All located balls given a good slobbering washing.

Check.

I'm beginning to feel better about how we can pass the time until Elisha and Micah's return already.

Are they home yet?

Love,
Josh-Josh

Time Changes

Dear Daddy,

We had a wonderful weekend with you!

Well mostly wonderful.

The whole celebrating with Bapa and going to church was quite wonderful! Bapa was fortunate to have Daniel and I close by to help spit blow out his candle and consume his chocolate sundae.

Putting on our Sunday best and going to learn about God always is the highlight of the week!

I must say, on the other hand, the genius who initiated completely upending the structure of our day surely must not have had any children. Such cruelty to innocent little ones who struggle enough trying to figure out if it's 11pm or 11am. Only someone completely unfamiliar with children could not understand that it can be quite difficult to know when to sleep when you feel like any time is a great time to build a duplo block tower in the living room or consume a cup of mango juice.

I should clarify, Daylight Savings does make a little bit of sense to Daniel and I if by "savings" one means save all one's energy for the morning of the day earmarked to add or subtract an hour and thereafter attempt to not nap.

I know longer even know what that word means.

Nap?

Not in my vocabulary.

In short Daylight Savings was the perfect pairing with a toddler and wishes-he-could-toddle baby (yours truly). As perfect a pairing as an overfull cup of grape juice on a white couch, a handful of espresso beans just before bedtime and a midmorning jumping session sans diaper on your bed after three cups of milk.

Perhaps my verbosity is obscuring my main point.

Let me try to succinctly state my opinion of time changes.


Hopefully that makes it clearer.

XO,
Joshua